Swannies Theorems, Art in Maths and a follow-up to Pythagoras, De Tinseau and De Gua De Malves.

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                                          THE BLOATED TRUNCATED ICOSAHEDRON          FP Swanepoel ± 2007

                                         A mathematical essay on the alternative origin and design of the      
                                    Association of Cups garment (the Brassiere) and the Association Football ball.
                                                   (Please note that some of what follows is factual.)

Preview:  First see the Bra and Ball page and then also the Potpourri page for a photograph of a knobkerrie.
Also note:  It appears that the Druids venerated the human head and although sacrifices included its removal from the body the gory story  that some of the first balls kicked around were human heads dressed in cloth should perhaps not be attributed to them and shall not be pursued.  Here related is rather that which can be celebrated as human inventive glory:

Once upon a time and long, long ago in the land of Gaul an espoused  woman, in alternative French History known as Mrs. Historalix, experienced the need for support of her female attributes. Available to her was a whalebone needle,  rats gut, hog skin and thong from the same. She realized that the easiest shape to mark out on smoothed skin was the equilateral triangle and this she achieved with a pinkie with a witch like nail, dipped in a suspension of ochre in olive oil and by using  the thumb as the fulcrum.

At first she marked out three of those triangles, cut them out with a flint knife and sewed them together to form a pyramid. But it would be too tight a fit, except perhaps for a very exceptional  Donna of  many centuries later. So she tried four triangles  and then five – a cup of five and another one of five with one more in-between proved to be the perfect solution.

Soon the fashion took off and the older women once more enjoyed the attention of their spouses,  or let's call them husbands, and especially in France also the attention of other husbands and even younger men. In time the braver women started removing  sections of the upper triangles, leaving hyperbolic displays across the cups and later only a cusp at the center of two wide parabolas, all laced to accentuate some of  the delicate  contents displayed. Cheating by tightening up the support below improved  the show but further modified and destroyed the the original mathematical design., The more conservative women, jealous themselves or afraid of fueling their husband's jealousy for attracting attention from  other men, called these form-fit wearing women  accentuating well endowed features to the ultimate effect, brazen – that is shameless. The offending undergarment was accordingly named by them and became know as the brassiere. Regarding  the excess support from below it needs to be noted that  older women mostly resigned themselves to the original design as they had to compromise between buoyed up, accentuated facial wrinkles and drooping boobs.

In Spain and Italy morals suffered and some men even found it necessary to lock up their wifes until they repented and reverted to the classical mathematical design. In Spain the women got away with accentuating bras by diverting attention to exquisite  dresses and fascinating dancing, double tracking the minds of their men and enticing them to join the action for which the Spanish then became most famous. Besides the side stepping of bulls, dancing, immensely improved the foot work of their soccer players  as proven these days by Real Madrid maintaining top or near top positions on the International Football log.

It is to be mentioned that the modified bra encouraged the French men also not to age too quickly. They started wearing close fitting show-off trousers, called pantaloons, and even pointed shoes and indeed enjoyed the attention of women even from other  countries. That is why they were called French cockerels, or  cockalorums,  hahnen and some  unmentionables  by jealous German men who stuck to their baggy trousers and  haantjes by the Dutch men who continued to clog along regardless of the occasion.  But I have again digressed way into the future and have to get back to Mrs. Historalix :---
                                                                                    

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